Thou Shalt Love Pie

I am not a fantastic cook. I would say I am a decent one but I lack the intuition, guts and creativity that my husband has. That is the reason why he looks way more convincing with the chef’s hat on while I look sexier brandishing…an egg whisk.

But there are a few dishes that M would trust me to cook. One of these is the beef pie, which is a full-bodied, savoury beef stew topped with a flaky, buttery puff pastry beret in our household.

Don’t get me wrong. M breathes life into beef stews! But he now snubs frozen ready-to-roll puff pastry for the one I make ever since I fed him with homemade no-fry chicken curry puffs and beautifully flaky Portuguese egg tarts. So naturally, the task of making beef pies has fallen into my hands.

There was much to be excited about as I hadn’t made puff pastry in a looooong time (my last attempt was made in London); I was hoping to nail it in the tropical heat but of course, I had to cheat with air-conditioning. I was also particularly keen on breaking in some of our very cute Le Creuset mini cocottes. I mean, puff pastry berets on colourful mini cocottes?! Wouldn’t YOU hyperventilate at the thought of that, too?

I spent all day in the kitchen to make these pies. It was back-breaking work but I was delighted to see my husband happily tuck into the pies. You see, he always does it with dramatic flair, by hitting the puff pastry beret ever so gently with a spoon to reveals most satisfying ‘crack!’ that hints at its flakiness, before letting a wide grin of approval spread across his face and digging deep into the pot for liquid gold. It is strangely satisfying to watch. Now, your turn.

Beef stew

Makes one 8-inch and two 4-inch (diameter) pots of stew

1kg stewing beef tenderised and cut into 2cm by 2cm by 2cm cubes
4 tablespoons olive oil
1 large onion, peeled and roughly chopped
3 cloves garlic, peeled and chopped
3 large carrots, peeled and cut into 1.5cm by 1.5cm by 1.5cm cubes
7 sticks celery stalks, leaves removed and cut into 1.5cm by 1.5cm by 1.5cm cubes
2 large potatoes, peeled and cut into 1.5cm by 1.5cm by 1.5cm cubes
450g portobello mushrooms, sliced thickly
Few sprigs of rosemary, leaves picked and finely chopped
Salt to taste
Black pepper to taste
600ml beef stock
2 heaped tablespoons plain flour
5 tablespoons balsamic vinegar
Hot water on standby to add to stew

1. Preheat oven to 170 Celsius.

2. Add olive oil to Dutch oven over medium high heat and sear beef cubes. Once golden brown, remove beef from Dutch oven and set aside.

3. Lower to medium heat and add onions and garlic to Dutch oven. Fry for 10min until onions are soft and very lightly browned.

4. Add carrots, celery, potatoes and cook for 5min. Add mushrooms and rosemary, give it a quick stir and then add the beef. Pour in the hot beef stock and add balsamic vinegar. Season with salt and pepper to taste and stir in plain flour to thicken gravy.

5. Place Dutch oven into preheated oven, with lid on and leave the stew in there for 1.5 hours. Give it a stir every half hour and top up with some hot water if gravy dries up too much. Always add the water such that the liquid barely covers the ingredients in the stew. Cook for a further 1.5 hours or until beef is tender and bring Dutch oven out onto the stove to further simmer (with lid off) if you would like a thicker gravy. For pies, I would suggest a very thick gravy so that the pies don’t turn out too wet.

6. Spoon out some stew into ovenproof pots or baking dish, and cover the top with the uncooked puff pastry. Make sure that puff pastry isn’t directly in contact with the stew as the pastry will be wet and soggy. Bake at 210 Celsius for 20-25 minutes till pastry is puffed up and golden. Serve with salad or your favourite sides.

Puff pastry

Makes one 8-inch and two 4-inch (diameter) pie berets

250g unsalted butter, very cold, sliced to 2cm by 2cm by 2cm cubes
250g strong white bread flour, sifted, plus extra for dusting
Pinch of salt
125ml ice-cold water
1 egg, beaten for egg wash

1. Freeze butter cubes for half an hour.

2. Pulse butter, flour and salt in food processor for one second. Mix things up in the processor and pulse again. Do this for a few times till mixture is combined and resembles rough cornmeal.

3. Add water and pulse briefly till water is just incorporated. This will not form a ball of dough just yet and will still resemble rough cornmeal.

4. Turn out mixture onto lightly floured work surface, bring mixture together with lightly-floured hands to form a cylinder.

5. Roll cylinder out to form a rectangle with the shorter end facing you. It should look like a letter to you. Fold the dough as you would a business letter (into thirds). Rotate 90 degrees anti-clockwise such that the shorter end is facing you again and flip the dough such that the folded seams are facing downwards. Roll dough out again to a rectangle. Freeze between layers of baking parchment for 15-30min. Repeat such that you roll and fold for a total of four times each. Only very lightly dust work surface and rolling pin when the dough is sticky, although I would avoid this as much as possible.

6. The final rolled-out dough should be fairly elastic, smooth and about 4mm thick. Cut out desired shapes, apply a light layer of egg wash with a pastry brush, place pastry on top of cocottes/baking dish that are already filled with cooked stew and bake at 210 degree Celsius for 20-25 minutes till pastry berets are puffed up and golden brown.

Check out what’s cooking in my kitchen!

Also check out my other food adventures.

It’s All Good, Mama

I am not a great mother. I am too selfish to be one. I often complain about the things I have to do. I lose my temper at times and run out of patience all too often. Goodness gracious me, I even entertain thoughts of running away from all this when things get too much to bear. All this coming from a woman who longed for a child, who has chosen to be a mother. I am not proud.

When we were planning for a baby, I wanted to be the mother to my child, like my Mama was to me. She took care of us all by herself, had no help and gave everything up for us. In spite of the challenges, she loved us unconditionally and never once vented her frustrations (even if she felt any) on us. My father had to work hard as the sole breadwinner, and my mother managed somehow. I didn’t know how she did it, but she was and still is a strong, selfless, deeply loving woman, and I wanted to be just that. I thought I could be.

I thought wrong.

Weeks into being a new mother, I couldn’t quite keep up. The fragmented sleep, the sudden lack of freedom, the prioritising of my daughter’s needs before mine, these almost did me in. I hated mothering the very being I love most…oh, the painful irony. That quickly gave way to despair, as I realised that I wasn’t cut out to be the parent I wanted to be.

Almost nine months on, I still doubt myself. I can’t go through what I set out to do. I still lose it when I am frustrated. And I get frustrated, too easily, one too many times. I hate myself for that. I didn’t expect to hit the bump on the road and NOT go over it; after all, my can-do personality has helped me emerge largely unscathed from most of the trying times in my life? Why can’t I stop whinging, suck it up and get on with things? Surely I know that parenting is hard work and that there are no two ways about it?

Yet, Faith grows, so beautifully. She is happy, healthy and brings so much joy to everyone around her. Damn, she makes me look good as a mother but you and I know that I haven’t done much to raise such a delightful, loveable bub. She just is. Yes, I cry in frustration when I feel breathless from keeping up with her needs, but oh, she makes me smile through my tears. I suppose I have done something right along the way, amidst tempers lost and harsh words unleashed…to still be here, to still be a mother to her, to be able to say that she is growing well.

I may never be the mother that my Mama is to me, or the mother that she is to my daughter. I may be selfish and weak. But I guess, I am what I am and what matters is, I try my best to do whatever I can, to be a mother to Faith, to love her as much as humanly possible. What matters is I am still trying.

…

A very happy Mother’s Day to all mothers, to those who struggle, to those who want to be, to those who let me revel in their joy and cry with them, to those who inspire me in more ways than one, to those who laughed and cried with me…you know who you are.

Most of all, Happy Mother’s Day to my Mama, who already is, who forever will be.

Almond, Cranberry & Flax Seed Granola Clusters

The beauty of making homemade granola is you can mix things up quite a bit without following a recipe to a T. I made this batch after polishing off the previous, with ingredients that are stocked in my pantry. I didn’t have enough honey and there wasn’t any maple syrup or apples at home, so I added more dark brown sugar. It may not be as healthy, but it’s a simple enough substitute to stave off that granola craving. Chuck out almonds if you hate them, and add your favourite nuts. Make it less sweet. Turn the sweetness up a notch. Switch out cranberries for raisins, dates or even figs. Add a little more salt for that savoury hit. Mix in a superfood such as flax seeds, like what I did. The possibilities are endless!

As we speak, this batch is fast disappearing from the granola pot, and my husband is already asking me to make more bars for work as he doesn’t have time to go for or even heat up packed meals during his crazy calls. I can’t think of a more delicious and versatile source of quick energy boost.

Hang on to your granola clusters, everyone, these will have people reaching into your stash more often than you wish for!

Check out what I have been baking in my own kitchen.

Almond, Cranberry & Flax Seed Granola Clusters

500g rolled oats
200g golden flax seeds
100g sesame seeds
250g whole unsalted almonds
2 tsp salt
300g dark brown sugar
50g honey
5 tbsp olive oil plus extra for greasing pan
250g dried cranberries

1. Preheat fan-assisted oven to 150 degrees Celsius.

2. Combine oats, flax seeds, sesame seeds, almonds and salt in a large bowl.

3. Warm brown sugar, honey, oil and purée, stirring constantly to combine over medium heat in a non-stick saucepan and slowly drizzle over dry mix whilst stirring the mix constantly to make sure all of the granola is coated.

4. Line jelly roll pan with baking parchment and generously grease the parchment with more olive oil. Be sure to grease things up properly because you wouldn’t want the granola to stick to the parchment. Add granola mix to the pan, spreading to form a layer.

5. Bake for 45 min, stirring every 10 min. Add cranberries at the 40-minute mark.

6. Once baked, let granola cool completely. Break into clusters or cut into bars before storing granola in a clean, airtight container for a month.

Family Portraiture: When We Were 7 Months

We did a family photoshoot with Playground Pictures slightly more than a month ago, and I cannot recommend our photographer, Ken Umehara, enough. He is very friendly and professional, and has an excellent eye for compositions. You might not be able to tell from the photos but M and I are very stiff and are the most awkward people one could ever photograph (our pre-wedding and wedding photographers can attest to this…), so it’s all props to Ken for helping us relax and capturing the candid moments perfectly. We were a little nervous about the shoot as we didn’t know what to expect with a baby (who gets really cranky when she is about to nap) in tow, but we did the shoot in an hour, and are utterly pleased with the photos!

Why Botanic Gardens, you ask? This was where we had our first date after we became a couple. Cliché but so very meaningful to us. Hey, at least we didn’t head to the very bench we sat on as we held hands, okaaay?

Right, I shall shut my trap and let the photos do the talking.

 

Lychee + Thoughts

I have been thinking a lot lately…about what I want to do.

I love to bake. I am that delirious, mad scientist who is in a very happy place whenever I step into the kitchen. I love stroking my cranberry KitchenAid when nobody is looking, devouring cookbooks, tweaking and making up my own recipes, making bakes look pretty, and I get such a rush from getting the thumbs up from family and friends.

Over the past months, my husband and father have been trying to talk me into selling my bakes. I did accept orders for my lychee chiffon cake not too long ago and I received pretty good feedback. But…I still lack confidence. An awful lot of it. I am terrified of putting myself, or rather, my bakes out there. The defeatist in me doesn’t think that I will ever be good enough to feed the masses, especially with so many stunning homemade treats that are available these days…I don’t think anything positive will come out of this.

But that courageous part of me wants to try. I am not sure if I have what it takes to make it work, or whether that faintest desire would blossom into something more tangible, but there is a tiny voice whispering to me, urging me to take a risk. That voice is so alluring, so persuasive, that I just might.

Just maybe.

Check out what I have been baking in my own kitchen.

It’s Not So Bad If It’s Granola

I rarely have time to eat proper meals. Every morning, I wake up to a new day of same-old-non-stop action that comes with being Mama to Faith. Nurse, bathe, prepare and feed her breakfast, play, put her down for first nap, story time, give her a snack, play, nurse, second nap, prepare and feed her lunch, more play, nurse, third nap, play, give her another snack, play, prepare and feed her dinner, wipe her down, nurse and finally put her to bed. And then, there are the night feeds. I am bushed, even from reciting our daily routine but the point is there isn’t any time for a good meal until Faith is off to bed. Notice I don’t even need to worry about doing household chores and cooking my own meals…!

I have taken to shoving down food as quickly as I can and this isn’t exactly how I would like to chill. I end up feeling wound up from all that action, and munch on one too many chocolates to take the edge off. Besides, it’s an unbelievably efficient way to fill myself up. Just hold the baby in one arm and nom on chocolate with the other hand. This clearly isn’t healthy, and I would like to wean myself off the sugar, even if I don’t get enough time for a meal that lasts longer than three minutes!

What better way to do this, than to make myself a truckload of granola? Fortified with golden flax seeds, this granola is a superb source of vitamins, minerals, Omega-3 fatty acids and fiber. I have also very lightly sweetened it with honey, brown sugar and apple purée, and added some whole almonds and sesame seeds for that nutty kick, as well as dried cranberries for a tart lift in all that sweet-saltiness. I picked clusters right off the baking sheets, sprinkled them on yogurt with a healthy serving of berries, and even added tiny shards of dark chocolate whenever I craved for cocoa. Homemade granola is so very addictive and much healthier than the sugar-y treats I was constantly snacking on. I feel ‘cleaner’ already! Granola is also a quick and easy bite, perfect for busy folks who haven’t got the time to eat!

Now, my husband and I have hoovered the last of this batch. I am looking to tweak my recipe below to bake up granola bars next, which are perfect for when you don’t have any cutlery or serveware! Can’t wait!

Check out what I have been baking in my own kitchen.

Homemade Granola

450g rolled oats (I bought the wrong type so what you see in the pictures aren’t rolled oats, but either type will work! I just prefer the texture of rolled oats, that’s all.)
200g golden flax seeds
100g sesame seeds
250g whole unsalted almonds
2 tsp salt
120g dark brown sugar
200g honey
2 tbsp sunflower oil
100g apple purée (just blitz apples in a food processor)
250g dried cranberries

1. Preheat fan-assisted oven to 150 degrees Celsius.

2. Combine oats, flax seeds, sesame seeds, almonds and salt in a large bowl.

3. Warm brown sugar, honey, oil and purée, stirring constantly to combine over medium heat in a non-stick saucepan and slowly drizzle over dry mix whilst stirring the mix constantly to make sure all of the granola is coated.

4. Line jelly roll pan with baking parchment and lightly grease the parchment with oil. Add granola to the pan, spreading to form a layer.

5. Bake for 45 min, stirring every 10 min. Add cranberries at the 40-minute mark.

6. Once baked, let granola cool completely and store in a clean, airtight container for a month. The granola probably wouldn’t last that long.

I Have My Eye On: An Outspoken Onesie from FrenchSilver

Parents endeavour to give their children the very best, and I am no exception. As a new mother to baby Faith, I am always on the lookout for quality clothes, toys, books, foods and other knick-knacks.

In the series ‘I Have My Eye On’, I share my favourite finds for my little girl.

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Hands up, those of you who often receive a load of bull unsolicited advice from stupid cows friends, family, strangers even, on your parenting skills.

MEMEME!

And hands up, those of you who often feel like you can’t say shit to these people, either because you’re too befuddled by the lack of sleep/your reaction time is so unworthy of the Olympics/you’re too much of a chicken to offend them.

MEMEME!*

Look no further than this heat-pressed onesie from FrenchSilver on Etsy to saywhatyouwantwhatyoureallyreallywant.

No need to thank me!

*Used to be a chicken in my early days as a parent, but try telling me things that make absolute cow sense in that nosey/know-it-all/bossy tone of yours, I assure you my complete wrath. There’s no need to respect you, if you don’t respect me AND boundaries. Look, even my baby disapproves of you. HA!