I don’t usually flag up the blues here but I’m now alone, thinking about things in a room so quiet that I can hear my hair grow.
Things have been super. Nothing is wrong. In fact, things couldn’t be better. But these couple of days, I have been waking up feeling terrible for no rhyme or reason. M says its subconscious stress. Perhaps, what with the biggest exam of my life and a new job coming up. Or maybe it’s the thought of spending yet another Chinese New Year without my family. I do miss them terribly even though I talk to them pretty much every other day recently. Perhaps it’s got to do with the fact that it’s the 4th year we are spending CNY overseas, feeling like everyone has forgotten about us. But I know they haven’t.
I tried to bake some cupcakes this morning, with a rather appropriate ingredient – lemons – to see if the slum mood would lighten up a little. Nope, didn’t work. Kate, my KitchenAid was very cooperative, and did her job beautifully, but no, having a second bake-out with her didn’t help. Ate one of the cupcakes soon after, it was good but the blues are still here. I didn’t feel the tingle of excitement as I styled my cupcakes for the photo shoot. How strangely human and annoyingly irrational, this heart of mine.
So I am here for a bit, just to say…
Hello, I’m not feeling too good but I hope you’re having a much better day than I am now.
There, letting this out makes me feel an ounce better already.