So your boyfriend has finally proposed and you are feeling all the excitement of being newly engaged! You’re extending your arm out ever so often to countless ‘Show me, show meeeee!’ requests to show off your sparkly big-ass rock! You take innumerous pictures of that certain piece of Forever on your ring finger, as if the rock isn’t immortal enough. You walk around with a child-like spring in your step thinking of a whole new future with Mr. Right.
……then you go back to work and bury your head in piles of w-o-r-k.
When you’re bored, you flip that finger out and sneak a peek at your shiny new bling. Ahhhh, sparkly, pretty, *blissful sigh*. And then you start to daydream and attempt to savour every single syllable of ‘Will you marry me?’. When you come to the part where you half-shouted, half-cried an exuberant ‘Yes!’, you catch yourself in embarrassment and realise…..
You’re still in the office. Damn. A thought flickers. Maybe…just maybe. You google ‘Wedding’ and a gazillion hits show up.
Where should I start?
You click on the first link. Dresses, flowers, cakes, suits, shoes, makeup, hairstyles, songs, scripts, speeches, invitation cards, venue, schedules, ceremony, banquet menus, wedding rings, wedding car, photographer, schedules, oompa loompas……
You realised you’ve just opened Pandora’s box, dying to drive you to an early grave. Where am I going to find the time to do this? Who is going to help me? We don’t have the money! Ohmygodohmygodohmygod.
At this point, take a deep breath and relax. There is no point panicking. You need to compartmentalise your thoughts and get yourself organised. Get a pen out and write lists. You can have as many of them as you wish, because they will be your best friends. When people are chiding you, these lists are the most objective helpers you will ever have. If anything, they will help you function when you think you’re bordering on insanity. So make them and use them well.
Here are two lists I made at the beginning of my wedding preparations:
1. The not-so-fun list: Things to do (obviously, just a general list will do to start because this list is going to give you sub-lists when the preparations are in full swing)
2. The fun list: Names of royal members of the bridal party.
#2 is obvious. Discuss the size of the bridal party with your newly minted fiancé. Think about who matters most to both of you. It’s not a rule to make it an even number on both sides. Lucky for us, we had eight bridesmaids and eight groomsmen. Once you know who to ask, hold the thought and ask them when you finalise the wedding date. I prefer to do this because it’s nice to let people know when exactly the wedding will be if they are going to commit their time to you. Of course if the bridal party happens to include your siblings, ask the minute you get engaged because they have to attend your wedding anyway!
#1: Include the big items on this list – wedding date, venue, bridal boutique, photographer. Of these, the wedding date and venue are the most important; you can only go on to initiate discussions with wedding service providers if you have these bits of information. So stifle the panic rising in you and focus on getting the wedding date and venue first. There’s a Mount Everest to climb, yes, but just take the first step and worry about the rest later.
Remember….lists! And breathe. xx