Smooth As My Baby’s Bottom

I am convinced that the sleep gods hate me.

More than four months after sleep went down the toilet with Faith’s epic regression, I went from ‘OMG what the fish happened to our shortlived period of unbroken sleep’ to ‘this too shall pass’ to ‘this kiddo will not sleep through the night till she is 18’, before (currently) resigning myself to fate and thinking, ‘wake me up when September ends’, except that the joke is on me because…it’s only March, isn’t it, and I am being @£);!?#}^*%! woken up all too frequently at night. As if the daytime mothering gig isn’t draining enough, the nightshifts are taking its toll on my appearance. I look like that peeling wall in a charming 17th century cottage, except that it’s not so pretty on me. My skin, oh my poor skin, is parched, sallow and no longer supple. I feel old, dammit, and dry, and wrinkled, and sad. And yes, ‘You look tired’ is the only hello that friends can muster when we meet up these days.

Before you go all judge-y on me, I still love my daughter with all my heart and I have no regrets becoming a mother. BUT it would be nice to have a little me-time, to touch my face and feel a little less like a peeling fresco and more like my baby’s bottom (that’s about the only time when it’s good to be someone’s arse, anyway). It would be nice to look in the mirror and not feel bothered about the meandering and deepening cracks on my face.

I was contemplating a trip to the spa for a full-on pampering session after seeing a few friends take their hard-earned breaks from mothering but I hesitated as my baby girl refuses to take breastmilk from a bottle and I couldn’t be away from her for too long. Timely as it was, Porcelain, The Face Spa then invited me for The Restorative Facial which helps reduce skin sensitivity and water retention, while improving skin tone, hydration and elasticity. I was told that the treatment lasts about an hour. One quick hour, all to myself? I was sold…save for the fact that I have never had a facial and was a tad worried that I would return from the session, scarred for life. I was assured that the treatment uses natural extracts such as that of aloe vera, cucumber and rose, and to this, I figured the worst that could happen was that the facial does nothing for me.


I received a lot more than I bargained for. The treatment was very relaxing and did wonders to restore hydration and suppleness to my skin. I left the spa with a visibly smoother complexion (sans makeup, as the spa promotes a natural approach to maintaining a clear and healthy complexion), and bouncier skin. I was delighted to see, and feel the results! My skin felt like mochi, no kidding!

The best thing about the facial is the use of natural extracts renders the treatment safe for breastfeeding mothers. This was a rather important consideration for me as I am currently nursing my daughter. I went home, happy as a lark, smooth as my baby’s bottom and relieved that my daughter did well without Mama me for slightly more than an hour!

Mothers’ Day is just around the corner and now, you can treat and your Mama to The Restorative Facial too. A 1-for-1 session is going at S$195 until Mothers’ Day and I reckon this could make a lovely gift to that special woman in your life. I hope you ladies reap the benefits from a good ol’ relaxing facial!

Now, *pause for drama* back to the mothering dungeon…

Thanks to Porcelain, The Face Spa, and Protocol for the invitation.

Porcelain, The Face Spa is located at:

15 Cantonment Road
Singapore 089739

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