A Father’s Love

It was a Wednesday afternoon in March 2012, when I experienced shooting pains in my belly. We headed straight to the clinic for a check on our baby. Thankfully, the bean was okay. And to my delight, our baby finally revealed enough on the scan for us to know that it was a she. But M drew a blank when our obstetrician broke the news.

He wanted a boy.

No, it wasn’t because M wanted a son to carry on the family name. He has a fiery passion for football and used to envision taking his boy out for weekly games. He wanted to have a son who would hopefully be happy to share his life over a pint or two. But, those were not the most compelling reasons. M was concerned with having a girl as our firstborn; Overprotective Daddy here has always been worried about the emotional predators out there who might hurt his little girl. In his words, he would ‘break their legs if they broke her heart’ and he would really like it if there was a big brother in the equation, to help look out for his daughter. So, yes…M wanted a son.

My heart broke a little when I caught M’s lack of enthusiasm after the scan. Whatever joy I felt was swiftly sucked into a gaping black hole. I thought M could have been a little more upbeat, even if he was prematurely worried about his daughter. I mean, I am the Queen of Worrying and would surely be anxious about my little girl when the time comes for her to fall in love, but boy or girl, he or she is worthy of unadulterated joy.

M soon warmed up to the fact that we were having a girl and we did enjoy preparing for her arrival as the months passed. But a part of me just couldn’t forget that look on M’s face.

***

It has been an exhilarating yet draining couple of months. We are just beginning to ease into our roles as parents and learning to enjoy the littlest moments with our daughter. We just about managed to come up for air.

A few nights ago, M sat me down for a little heart-to-heart. It has been a while since we had time to pause and reflect. Then, something happened. Mid-conversation, he took a deep breath, and said, “I thought I wanted a son. How wrong was I. Faith is everything I could ever ask for in a child…and more. I cannot be happier.”

And that is when I realised this. That a father’s love runs like still water. That M’s love for Faith runs deeper than I could ever fathom. Knowing that his joy of being her father is pure and untainted…well, the black hole vanished. Just like that.

201306 A Father's Love

3 thoughts on “A Father’s Love

  1. Meemalee

    That’s so lovely. My husband always said he wouldn’t mind if we had a boy or a girl, but I was desperate for a daughter. When my wish was granted, I still worried he would be disappointed, but like M, it’s clear he couldn’t be happier.

    Thank you for sharing your stories x

    Reply
    1. The Pleasure Monger Post author

      I think the amazing thing is how much our hearts grow after becoming parents. We both knew we would love our kid, but we didn’t know we could love her that much, even if she turned out to be a boy. Am sure you know what I mean!

      Reply
  2. Jeanne

    When my mom was pregnant with me (the second child) in 1985, my dad asked if she would consider going for an abortion. They were poor and already had my brother and not exactly rolling in cash. Plus, maybe because I was a girl? After I was born, my dad was not too fond of me either, always crying. When I was a toddler, he made me walk all the way from our home to the wet market and back (while holding on to our maid). My mom found out about it and gave him a good shelling after. I’m not sure what happened along the way, as I grew older, he started to love me and play with me, and soon, I won his heart and became daddy’s little girl. I’m happy M had a change of heart. Faith sounds much more adorable than I was haha.

    Girls just have more effect on guys, especially when they are their own little one.🙂

    Reply

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