SO. Valentine’s Day zipped past us. If you must know, we don’t celebrate the occasion, and went out for our usual dinner date on Friday, only to find bosoms after bosoms of flowers shoved in our faces, and eateries after eateries filled to the brim with lovestruck couples.
To avoid the crowds, we hurried home to veg out in front of the telly after some good curry and gelato, and M decided to ‘express’ his love by tracing out what he wanted to say on my arm, something that he often does.
(Italicised conversations below are traced using our fingers on each other’s arm. All others were verbal or …abusive.)
M: I ♡ U
Me: 2 (meaning to say I love him too)
M: LUDD (short for love you deep deep)
Me: AM I FAT?
*SLAP SLAP SLAP* (on his chest, by the way)
M (clueless): HUH?! WHAT’S WRONG WHAT’S WRONG?
Me: WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHEN YOU SAY OK WHEN I ASK YOU IF I AM FAT?!!
M: That’s what you were writing?! OH MY GOSH, sorry, I didn’t know what you were tracing, so I just went OK!
Me: Don’t bluff!
‘WHAT am I marrying…whale in white, ah?’
Moral of the story: Be clear on what your wife is asking before you reply, especially when you watching TV, or worse, football or playing video games. One wrong move and your wife will blog about it.