Category Archives: The Little Ones

Did You Say Pest-Free Car?!

I AM TERRIFIED OF PESTS. Anything that creeps, crawls, lurks in dark corners, then comes flying right at me, completely freaks me out. I have invested in anything and everything to keep pests away from our home and our car, whilst making sure that ‘anything-and-everything’ are safe to be used around my children, and so far, so good…but that’s not to say that I don’t, at times, enter the car with simmering suspicion that I may be attacked by A COCKROACH whilst driving, which was what happened to me when I was driving a replacement car loaned to me by a workshop after this bugger (pun unintended) rammed into the back of my car.

My first car was almost a grand decade old and gave me lots of grief because it broke down pretty often. It was in a gritty state, because we bought it as a second-hand car for real-cheaps, so when the husband bought us a larger car so we could comfortably accommodate E’s car seat and still have room for human beings, I was determined to keep it in a pristine, or at least, hygienic condition. I went all military on everyone who would hitch a ride with me…”NO EATING OR DRINKING ALLOWED, UNLESS IT’S PLAIN WATER (and coffee for the man).” I was determined to keep roaches out because nobody likes to be attacked by a cockroach creeping up the leg whilst driving.

That said, I did not sent the car for any sort of grooming, not until recently when EA Detailer approached me to give their interior and exterior detailing services a try. This is because car grooming services can be expensive for the minimal amount of cleaning done and I shudder at the thought of having my kids sit in a car that has been exposed to toxic cleaners. I am not fussed about how shiny and water-resistant my car is, so instead, we use eco-friendly and natural cleaners to wipe the interior, keep pests at bay with a once-weekly spray-down using my trusted non-toxic insecticide, and do a soap-and-water wash on our own for the exterior.

As life would have it, kids climbing in and out of the car in their grubby shoes means that my car get dirty much too soon after a wash, and while grime can be mostly removed, I hope they don’t bring roach eggs into the car with ’em dirty shoes. There’s only so much we can do with surface cleaning and vacuuming. Our carpark can get drafty and dusty, so my car tends to be marred by ugly, gritty watermarks after the rain as well.

BUT! My car is now all shiny, pest-free, looks brand-new on the outside and inside, and smells wonderfully fresh, thanks to the outstanding detailing service by EA Detailer! I sent my car in to the latest branch of EA Detailer at Dunearn Road (housed behind Caltex, next to Barker Road Methodist Church) on Tuesday, and more than one week on, after a few downpours, my baby is still spotless!

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SEND YOUR CAR FOR GROOMING AT EA DETAILER?

We started off with a very detailed consultation with the friendly staff at the spotless workshop.  No stink-eye from staff who think women don’t know better. The space is so clean and bright that Faith, who was with me when I went back for the car, was happy to hang around. I don’t know about you but I have always been intimidated by the typical environment related to anything-cars; many a times, I find that people tend not to take women (let alone those with children) seriously when it comes to cars and are less than friendly (which explains why some ladies I know leave petrol-pumping, car repairs and grooming to the men in their lives). The staff at EA Detailer are, on the contrary, very friendly, warm, accommodating and understanding.

Numerous photos were taken by the very attentive staff to ascertain a baseline from which EA Detailer would work on. Problematic areas were highlighted, and I was given the opportunity to raise my concerns, which were eventually addressed by the different stages of detailing. Reasonable disclaimers are put forward, such as those concerning scratches that cannot be removed without compromising the integrity of the paintwork. I was also walked through the steps that would take my car from the state it was to being thoroughly groomed upon pick-up. I left my car for about 5 hours and returned to one that looks and feels brand new!

MY WISH-LIST:

  • To get rid of pests, if any. I have been doing this on my own with non-toxic insecticide and I did not see any pest in the 1.5 years I have been driving this car, but I was worried that roaches may lurk somewhere I couldn’t reach.
  • To remove stubborn water stains from the fabric seats (these stains were made every time I tried to open/close an umbrella whilst getting in/out of the car and I gave up trying to prevent/remove them)
  • To deep-clean and sanitise my children’s car seats because some parts (fabric/cushion) are not removable and I couldn’t completely wash them as a result
  • To safely disinfect the car
  • To remove as many hairline scratches as possible (there were so many pointed out by the observant staff and I was appalled at that)

EFFECTIVE AND NON-TOXIC!

As I understood, the cleaner, freshener, fumigation solution used are effective and non-toxic. The anti-viral surface cleaner and freshener used, for example, have been certified by Singapore General Hospital to be effective against a number of viruses, including a 99.98% effectiveness against HFMD. I was also very pleased to know that the anti-pest solution used during fumigation is an extract from a plant enzyme, and that it is bio-degradable and digestible. Moist heat and UV are also used to deep-clean and sanitise the car, reducing the amount of chemicals used. These were the main reasons why I agreed to having our car detailed by EA Detailer; safety is paramount when it comes to my children.

WHAT WAS DONE TO MY CAR?

(A) INTERIOR: 4-STAGE INTERIOR STEAM PURIFICATION

  1. Anti-Pest Bio-Fumigation

A plant-based anti-pest solution is loaded into a fumigation gun and sprayed into the interior of the car. The car is kept closed for about 30 minutes and during this time, pests (if any) will be forced out of their hiding areas and most will be killed. Those that aren’t killed should be weakened enough to slow their activities and these can then be easily caught.

1.5 Hydro-extraction Vaccum

A two-stage HEPA neutraliser filtration hydro-extraction vacuum is then used to remove nearly 100% of dirt and contaminants such as dust, dust mites and mold from the interior of the car. The technology used is certified asthma- & allergy-friendly by the Asthma and Allergy Foundation of America.

2. Anti-Viral Sanitisation

After the pests are removed, the car is sanitised with an anti-viral cleaner that has been certified by SGH to be safe and effective against a number of viruses. It has also been proven to be 99.98% effective against HFMD.

3. Ozonic Treatment and Leather Treatment

Ozone is up to 3000 times faster and more effective than chlorine at killing bacteria, mold, cysts and inactivating virus. Micro-organisms also do not build up immunity to being treated with ozone. Ozone is approved for direct contact with food products by the FDA as an antimicrobial agent and granted full USDA approval with no restrictions for use on organic products. This primes it as the perfect candidate for sanitising the air within the car. It also helps to remove odour and cleans the air within the car following fumigation, to remove as much of the fumigation solution as possible.

The leather trimmings and seats within the car will also be cleaned, then nourished and protected with a Matt Dash Finish leather protectant to maintain its finish. There are only leather trimmings on my doors, dashboard, steering wheel and gear box areas, and my fabric seats were treated differently instead (see below).

4. Steam Cleaning and Tornado Intensive Wash

(a) Steam Cleaning (Anti-Dustmites)

Steam is shot out of the gun to dislodge dirt, grease and stubborn stains without the use of chemicals.

(b) Tornado Intensive Wash (Dirt, Dust, Stains Removal)

A ‘gun’ is used to propel water out at a high speed, and the jet powers through the surface it hits to further remove dirt, dust and stains effectively.

4-STAGE INTERIOR DETAILING IS INCLUSIVE OF BABY CAR SEAT SANITISATION:

Baby car seats will be thoroughly sanitised as part of the 4-stage interior detailing. The fabrics will be steam-cleaned and subjected to a tornado intensive wash, followed by physical sanitisation using the SGH-certified surface cleaner and hydro-extraction vacuum to remove all debris and bacteria that have been dislodged from the seats.

(B) EXTERIOR: 3-STAGE EXTERIOR GLOW

1. Foam wash

2. Claying to remove grit and grime

3. Compound Polishing to remove hairline scratches that aren’t too deep, and to restore shine with a protective nano sealant that will last up to 1-2 months.

The engine bay will also be cleaned up, rims and exhaust pipes will be polished. All door shuts, boot shuts, bonnet edges, fuel cap and crevices and gaps that a sub-par groomer might miss will also be detailed.

MY REVIEW ON THE SERVICES RENDERED:

CONS

  • All these steps took a whopping 5 hours and I was initially very reluctant to leave my car at EA Detailer for that long as I really needed the car to run errands, go for appointments and to drop off and pick up the kids. I am now fully appreciative of the long period of time spent on getting my car back to tip-top condition, because when I returned to pick it up, it was clear that my car has gone through a complete transformation. EA Detailer had put in a sheer amount of effort into restoring my car, and that explains the length of time needed.
  • The services can be rather expensive at first glance, but the good news is first-time customers get really affordable trial prices at only $128 for a 3-stage interior detailing service for a saloon car for example (lower if you go for the promotion given to my readers..see below!). I guess one could stretch out the detailing services required to maintain the car in a good condition. That’s what I intend to do, coupled with more conscientious maintenance on my part in between car grooming sessions.

PROS

  • We have never eaten in the car, so it came as a shock that the staff found two baby cockroaches. I am beyond glad that we managed to nip the problem in the bud because we all know that roaches breed very quickly!
  • Stubborn water stains (from rain) on my fabric seats have been completely removed, thanks to the steam cleaning and tornado intensive wash! We had plans to upgrade the fabric seats to leather ones, but it looks like we don’t have to now!

Before: Water stains on fabric seats

After: Water stains on fabric seats removed

  • My children’s car seats are not completely washable as certain parts are not removable from the seats, so I am exceptionally pleased that the car seats have even deep-cleaned and sanitised, something that I couldn’t do on my own. This is included in the 4-stage interior detailing service. If you’d like to go for the 3- or 3.5-stage interior detailing but would like to add on baby car seat sanitisation, you can opt for it at $69 for one car seat and $120 for two seats.Before: Baby car seats harbour plenty of hidden dirt, much deeper from the surface.After: Baby car seats are thoroughly sanitised!
  • The car is all clean and freshened up after all that sanitisation using the SGH-certified disinfectant.
  • My car looks completely brand new with matt finishes done on the interior and the removal of most hairline scratches from the exterior. The paintwork looks stunning with all that shine restored to it! After a few downpours, no watermark has been left on the body of my car, thanks to the nanosealant that has been applied.After: My car is all glossy and scratch-free again!After: Interior of the car has been completely spruced up, cleaned and sanitised, with delightful matt finishes added.
  • Even the engine bay and rims have been cleaned and they look brand new!

EA Detailer is located at a few locations, and if you are sold like I am for the detailing services, do take advantage of the promotion for my readers to try the services out! Alternatively, you can take part in the giveaway!

GIVEAWAY:

EA Detailer is giving away one 3-Stage Interior Detailing package to a lucky reader! This includes Anti-Pest Bio-Fumigation, Anti-Viral Sanitisation, Ozonic and Leather Treatment. Simply like their Facebook Page to stand a chance to win! Don’t forget to leave your FB username for verification purposes. Click on this link to join the giveaway.

PROMOTION for my readers: Click on this link to book either of these two options.

[OPTION #1]

1. 50% Off 3-Stage Interior at $108  (Usual Price $219)
-> Anti-Pest Bio-Fumigation
-> Anti-Viral Sanitisation (Covers Physical and Air environment including aircon system)
-> Leather Treatment
-> Dashboard Treatment
-> Indepth Vacuum
-> Anti Mold/Odour Smell Ozonic Treatment

(Duration: 4 hours)

[OPTION #2]

Take both 3-Stage Exterior and 3-Stage Interior Detailing at ONLY $198 (Usual Price $299)
(Duration : 4 to 6 hours)

*Additional surcharge of $50 applies for MPV/SUV/Large & Flagship Luxury Sedans

*I was gifted a 4-stage interior and 3-stage exterior detailing service by EA Detailer. No monetary compensation has been received. All opinions expressed are my own.

Down the Rabbit Hole into…Wonderland!

“If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn’t. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn’t be. And what it wouldn’t be, it would, you see?” – Lewis Carroll

And what was supposed to be, it wasn’t, we found out as while we slipped down the rabbit hole into Wonderland to meet Alice, the Mad Hatter, March Hare, Cheshire Cat, Caterpillar, White Rabbit, Card and *gasp* the Queen at the Tea Party.

Now, I can’t give away too much about what goes on in Wonderland. It’s a secret, you see, and only those with Muchness and those who are Mad are in the know. What I’d say is Faith and I thoroughly enjoyed ourselves during the 45-minute play, and I’d highly recommend for you to go scurrying for tickets if you want to be Mad as well.

We were sent a secret message to show up at the most random of places in mismatched socks. Faith was utterly delighted at the fact that she was finally allowed to go crazy on her choice of feet warmers, so much so that she has been asking to go out in mismatched pairs everyday after we went down the Rabbit Hole. “I knew who I was this morning but I’ve changed a few times since then.” I can safely say that Faith is definitely having an Alice moment when it comes to socks now.

Now, I didn’t want to fit in (or did I, I swear this trip to Wonderland has messed with what’s normal and what’s not) and didn’t wear socks (let alone mismatched ones), but I ended up getting told off by the White Rabbit for not doing so and I’m just glad the Queen didn’t scream for someone to take my head off because I had at least mastered the secret phrase to be let into Wonderland. MAKE SURE YOU KNOW THIS BECAUSE YOU WILL REGRET IT IF YOU DON’T.

Then, Faith’s and my realities were switched up a little when we were told to go through the wrong (or…right?) doors and we finally tumbled down the Rabbit Hole into…Wonderland.

Having arrived 30 minutes earlier (that’s the earliest they will let you in) prior to the start of the play, we were treated to wonderfully neurotic banter between the Mad Hatter and the March Hare. The children teased them, and the pair were more than convincing in their roles and it was a great introduction for the children to understand their personalities a little more before the start of the play. I highly suggest arriving early for that half an hour of unofficial pre-show, so you get more bang for buck (total of 75 minutes, if you will). Faith was tickled pink during the pre-show (so was I), and I reckon that it is a fair indication of good fun!

During the show, a general story played out (I shall not give this away) but because it is immersive and interactive in nature, children were more than welcomed to speak up and engage with the actors. I’m not an expert on theatre, but I reckon a play of this sort is much harder to execute, as the actors wouldn’t know what to expect from every audience they are playing to. During the show we attended, the children participated actively and the actors very smoothly transited the audience back to the storyline.

At many points in the dialogues running through the show, the actors had me thinking about life, what it means, what our realities, expectations, emotions and dreams are, and how we can break them if only we are willing to. I left the show feeling thoughtful and hopeful, although I must say younger children will miss the nuances as intended by Lewis Carroll but as far as I could tell, children who were the same age as Faith (she’s turning 5 this year) or older thoroughly enjoyed the main storyline, as well as comedic stunts and mid-play ‘activities’ put up by the actors.


  To be honest, Faith was a little scared and shy at first (you might want to take note of this if you intend to bring children who are younger) , but the pre-show helped warm her up for the play and by the end of it, she was reeling in the action of it all and asked to go again as she loved the show very much. Just look at her happy face as she took photos with the cast after show! I, on the other hand, had a hard time picking my favourite characters in the cast of Wonderland, but if I really had to choose, I have to say the Mad Hatter and the March Hare have my heart!

No food is served during the show (as opposed to its predecessor, Dinner in Wonderland) but we did tumbled back out through the Rabbit Hole into The Queen’s Bar after the play and bought ourselves a yummy Oreo milkshake before heading home, so be sure to check it out if you are feeling peckish or parched.

Word has it that the Wonderland by ANDSOFORTH Junior (the one we caught) will be running at the current location (Lorong Ampas) from 8-10 June 2017 and then the same cast will be acting in Kids in Wonderland at a different site with a new set design thereafter.

Bookings for Wonderland by ANDSOFORTH Junior can be over here, and that for Kids in Wonderland can be made here instead. Tickets are going for $28 per person (accompanying adults will need to buy tickets as well). The show is said to be suitable for children who are 2 years old and above, but I’d say 4-5 years is a better age to appreciate the play better. Tickets are selling well, so hurry on over to grab yours while they are still available!

Like Andsoforth on Facebook to receive updates on what they have to offer!

*We received four media passes to Wonderland by ANDSOFORTH Junior and only made use of two tickets. All opinions expressed are entirely my own. Thank you Andsoforth for the tickets!

 

Wonderland – an Immersive Theatrical Children’s Show

“Just a little further” said Alice to the herself as she plunged deeper into the depths of the cake. How is it that it never ends? And how will I ever find the plate? By this time the Mad Hatter had arrived to see a pair of legs sticking out of a very large cake.

I don’t know about you but it’s my life ambition to plunge into a cake, as long as it’s delicious, so wherever Alice goes, I AM GOING!

This coming June holidays, Andsoforth (a nomadic theatre group which creates pop-up theatrical feasts immersed around stories, drama and secrets) Junior presents “Wonderland”, a children’s play based off Lewis Carroll’s Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland. What sets it apart from regular plays is that Wonderland is an interactive show hosted in an immersive set where children get to be seated amongst the cast. It is the first of its kind, where characters of Wonderland interact with and engage children in the play, allowing them to be part of the story while watching the story come to life, so you can imagine how keen I am to…yeap…somehow dive into that cake!

On a serious note, I like that there are a couple of learning objectives for this play, the key ones that shout out to me are to encourage expression of self through interaction with the actors in a safe and fun environment, expand imaginative abilities and to build confidence by taking part in a play where everyone gets to be engaged (as opposed to having kids stand on stage and risk having stage fright as the boundary between stage and audience can prove to be overwhelming). I am eager to see how Faith (she is turning 5 years old this year) responds being part of an immersive theatrical experience for a change! We will be going for one of the runs so see you there and say hello if you spot us!

By the way, if you are wondering how long the play lasts, it is 45 minutes long, so it’s perfect for children who might not want to sit still for too long. It is also suitable for children who are 2 years old and above, and children under 7 years old will need to be accompanied by parents. Please note that parents and children will need their own tickets to watch the play.

Ticketing details are as follow:

Dates: 1, 2, 3, 8, 9, 10, 15, 16, 17, 22, 23, 24 June

Timings: 11am, 2pm, 4pm

Price: $28 per person (food will not be provided, but munchies will be on sale at The Queen’s Cafe)

Tickets are available online! They are selling out fast, so hurry! All tickets sold are non-exchangeable and non-refundable.

*I will be given 4 media passes to this play and will be writing about our experience after the show! All opinions are entirely my own. Watch this space!

 

Keep Your Home Clean, Green and Baby-Friendly with Dapple

Some of you may know that I have been pruning our home-cleaning and even skincare routines, keeping the products we use to the greenest that we can afford, all this without compromising on efficacy. This clean and green movement is looking really good with more products that are readily available locally now, and I am happy to add the Dapple family of goodies to our cleaning regime!  I was sent a couple of Dapple products, including the Baby Bottle & Dish Liquid (Fragrance Free), Toy & Highchair Cleaner, and Baby Stain Remover Spray and I’m really happy with the cleaning prowess of these products and am most impressed by the Baby Stain Remover Spray (see photos below for evidence)!

Dapple Baby Bottle & Dish Liquid

The Baby Bottle & Dish Liquid is excellent for removing milk residue and odour from Ethan’s sippy cup and cooler bag. Even though he has been weaned off breastmilk, I pack a sippy cup full of fresh milk in a cooler bag for his snack time at school. Unfortunately, the cup isn’t spill-proof and some milk leaks out into the cooler bag. The teachers don’t have the time to clean the milk residue off immediately and when left to fester for an entire day before we get home…let’s just say the cooler bag smells extremely offensive. As the cooler bag isn’t supposed to be washed, what I do is to wet a cloth with a smidgeon of the Baby Bottle & Dish Liquid, and wipe! I don’t even rinse the cooler bag and I know it’s safe as the Liquid is free of SLS, SLES, artificial fragrances, dyes, parabens, phthalates, 1,4-dioxane, chlorine, formaldehyde, and alcohol. The offensive smell is removed and the cooler bag is all cleaned up for the next day. With the sippy cup, I simply wash it as per normal with the Baby Bottle & Dish Liquid, and it gets all cleaned up in a jiffy. A little goes a really, really long way, so I do see the 500ml bottle lasting us for quite a while before we purchase the refill. I was also given the travel-sized bottle (88ml) with a lavender fragrance, and I’m eager to bring this with us on our next holiday!

Toy & Highchair Cleaner 

Ethan is a really messy eater. He picks up bits and pieces of food with his hands, puts them on the spoon before eating (don’t ask me why) and then smears his greasy hands all over his hair, face and the highchair. Every meal time ends with either a massive wipe-down or a wash in the bathroom (I’m referring to both Ethan and the highchair). These days, I have been using the Toy & Highchair Cleaner to take the grease off the highchair and it’s doing a pretty good job! After removing solid bits of food, I simply spray and wipe and the chair is spotless again. I love that the cleaner is free of SLS, SLES, artificial fragrances, dyes, parabens, phthalates, 1,4-dioxane, chlorine, formaldehyde, and alcohol. This means that it is safe to use on highchairs and toys, as Ethan often picks things up from the table on the highchair to eat and puts toys in his mouth, and I like that none of these nasty chemicals are getting ingested.

Baby Stain Remover Spray (Fragrance-Free)   

I decided to give the Baby Stain Remover Spray a try when Faith spilt some orange-coloured multi-vitamin liquid on her white pyjamas one morning. All I did was to remove the excess liquid by dabbing on it with a piece of tissue paper, applied some of the Baby Stain Remover Spray on the stain, rubbed and agitated the stain, left the stain to soak in the stain remover for about 10 minutes before putting it into the wash. And the pyjamas came out looking like brand-new! To be honest, I wasn’t expecting this to work because the stain was pretty obvious on the white fabric, but it did! I think this will come in really handy as Ethan often spills food on his clothes and some of his onesies have been badly stained because we couldn’t remove them with anything we have at home. The Baby Stain Remover Spray is said to be formulated for cloth diapers, so I reckon it is pretty effective for everything else that isn’t as offensive!

Before applying the stain remover

After applying the stain remover, rubbing on-site and leaving it for 10 minutes. After this, I put her pyjama top into the wash.

The stain was completely removed after the top came out from the wash!

I think there is a common perception that green products are usually expensive and ineffective. Whilst the former can be true of most green products, I can attest to the fact that only very small amounts of these Dapple products are needed to clean effectively and that means we save more in the long run whilst keeping our homes and the environment cleaner, greener and safer. It’s really worth the switch to environmentally-friendly products that are free of toxins for our children and I cannot recommend these products enough!

PROMOTION

For those of you who are keen to give Dapple products a shot but do not wish to commit to full-priced items, you may be keen to purchase a Dapple starter pack at a promotional price of $30 (retail price  $40.70, usual price on Qoo10 $32.90) from this site on Qoo10. Don’t forget to quote “pleasuremonger” at the <Memo to seller> field during check out to obtain free samples too! This promotion is valid from 8 May to 15 May 2017.

*I was given the above products for the review. No additional monetary compensation has been received. All opinions expressed are entirely my own and written according to my experience in using the products/services. Sponsors have been notified that I am not obliged to write a review upon receipt of sponsored service/items, should I find the products/services unsuitable.

Family Photography: Grow Old With Me

Moments. The biggest ones that make your heart leap. The most insignificant ones that escape your consciousness. The ones when you laugh till your belly hurts. The ones that you’d rather others not know about. There are, too, the quiet ones when time stands still, and those pauses that seem to take far too long to skip. They make up our lives, our passage here in the world we know, and they make more difference, in the lives of the people who love you, than you think they do.

When I was on the cusp of my teens through to my twenties, I hated being photographed. I didn’t know how to smile for the camera and I certainly didn’t like the way I looked. All that changed when I started dating the love of my life. Suddenly, I was desperate to record every waking moment spent with M, determined not to let those times slip away because…really, I have the memory of a goldfish and I don’t want to forget the moments that we share. Never mind the huge cystic pimple on my nose when I headed to London to visit him, never mind the crooked teeth, I just wanted to capture as many smiles (awkward ones too) as possible.

When I moved to London, I dabbled in very (very) amateur photography. It started with food photography and styling, and then I tried my hand at taking travel shots. M often rolled his eyes at me for trying to take photographs of him too, but hey, good or bad, we now have tonnes of memories to fill the album with.

Now that we have children, I make it a point to do a family photoshoot once a year, much to the horror of M initially. “A few hundred bucks spent on photos?!” That’s what he used to say until he saw the coffee table albums I put together and realised how precious it was to be able to thumb through beautifully captured moments of the kids growing up and of our family just hanging out together. It has come to a point where he goes, “Let’s get A (our usual family photographer) to take our photographs again this year!” Because you see, sometimes when life gets tough and discouraging, M and I often snuggle up in bed at night to look at our family photos, and that is all it takes to get us back up on our feet again.

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Not all photoshoots are created equal though. I had one where the photographer physically moved our body parts (can I just say we were absolutely stiff and it was hard for the photog to move us too) so that we looked perfect for the shot; while that works for people who aren’t as stiff and are more intuitive at posing for photographs (I am absolutely envious of people who know how to work the camera), M and I just end up looking and feeling ridiculous and self-conscious because we aren’t naturals in front of the camera.

When Gideon from Grow Old With Me approached us to do a photoshoot, the first thing I did was to check out his portfolio to make sure that our styles align. As we aren’t good in front of the camera, we needed a photographer who can coax genuine emotions out of us and that’s what I saw in his work with other families. Eyes squeezed shut amidst hearty laughs, flailing arms that end in the biggest hugs, thoughtful, quiet exchanges, knowing smiles. And that’s exactly what we got out of the hour we had with Gideon.

He made an effort to get to know us, what we do, who we are, how we parent; he even knows what makes us joyful and what makes us tick. My kids usually take pretty long to warm up to people but they took to Gideon very quickly. He has a way with children, getting to their eye levels, asking questions and playing games with them; that is pretty much how he worked his magic to get Faith and Ethan to be at ease and just hang out as they usually do with us. It didn’t matter if two cameras were clicking away. The entire session was easy, comfortable and it felt like we were catching up with an old friend. Many shots were taken while we were still chatting away with Gideon, some were taken in the midst of a guided conversation we had with the kids, and others were captured when we were just having a grand ol’ time being outdoors. Sure, the children did whine a little because of the heat, but that’s to be expected anyway.

The best thing about Gideon is he wants to be there. He shared that Grow Old With Me came about because it was a natural progression to grow with the newlyweds that he has photographed, as they begin their journeys in parenthood. He recognises the ups and downs of parenthood, and sees each photoshoot as an opportunity for the family to bond. It is this that drives him to capture the moments that might have otherwise gone unnoticed in our daily lives, and I am thankful that he shared this ethos with us. Our exact sentiments, really.

We really like how the photos turned out; in fact, I just spent two hours grinning like a goofball while reliving the moments we shared that day (someone’s got to do the hard work of picking out photos to put up on the blog, there are too many good ones!). I shall leave the photos with you (it’s a slideshow and may take a while to load) and don’t forget to check out the promotion below!

Promotion:

I heard from Gideon that Grow Old With Me is looking to plan some activities that would help parents better capture moments with their children, and I honestly can’t wait to see how that pans out. While that is still work in progress, if you are looking to do a family photoshoot, you might be glad to know that Grow Old With Me is offering a 20% discount on the hour-long ‘The Family Bonding’ package (usually priced at $328), which which suits a family of 6 people (max). All photos will be processed and returned in high resolution (digital format) within a week. It’s a pretty amazing deal, if you ask me, so hurry and book a slot with Grow Old With Me! The promotional code GOWM is valid until the end of April 2017.

Like Grow Old With Me on Facebook and stay updated on Instagram over @growoldwithmesg as well!

*I was gifted a photography session for the review. No additional monetary compensation has been received. All opinions expressed are entirely my own and written according to my experience in using the products/services. Sponsors have been notified that I am not obliged to write a review upon receipt of sponsored service/items, should I find the products/services unsuitable.

Mine

I nursed my little boy for the last time on 27 February 2017. There were no tears from the 23-month-old the next day, but boy, did Mama weep.

It all started a few weeks before that, when the husband and I felt that he could do away with the morning and pre-nap feeds as I noticed he was merely comfort-sucking and not actually taking in any milk. Those feeds were, surprisingly, incredibly easy to wean off. All I had to do was plonk him on my lap in the mornings and tell him that there was no need for Mama’s milk, and he would happily run off to the living room to rummage through his toys. For naps, I used to lie down beside him on my bed and have him feed until he drifted off to sleep, but when it came to weaning the pre-nap feed, I told him that he could hug me instead and we could fall asleep together, and he happily did just that too. It all seemed too easy.

I didn’t think too much of weaning E off those two feeds, because I still had the opportunity to nurse him at bedtime and I didn’t really mind doing that except for the fact that he was due to start school soon; from our experience, we reckoned it was just better to at least plan to wean him off completely before he embarked on the next phase in life. I didn’t have a date or plan in mind, in part due to my lack of experience in actively weaning a child (F weaned herself off the final morning feed at 21 months old, she simply ran into our bedroom while we were holidaying in Hanoi and watched cartoons before breakfast was served) and also my reluctance to let go of my baby, who seemed to have sprouted overnight, far quicker than what Mama’s heart could cope with.

I don’t know what prompted me to start weaning E off the bedtime feed on the last day of February. M was working late that evening, and I had just cleaned the kids up after getting them fed at dinner. Before I knew it, I whipped out the bedtime story (Time For Bed by Mem Fox)  that I have been reading to F for years and told E that Mama’s milk was ‘spoilt’, that we could read a book instead and I would cuddle him as he falls asleep, and he…said, “Okay!” He was clearly ready. I wasn’t, and I still don’t know what possessed me to wean him off before I was done.

This went on for a few nights and that…was it. No tears, no drama, just my boy reading (what is now) his favourite book whilst sitting on my lap, and me cuddling him to sleep. A week after the final feed, E even said this a few times while we were in the car on the way to F’s school, “No more Mama milk. Spoil spoil. Read book, okay? Sleep sleep.”

Oh, how my heart broke.

Breastfeeding had been a part of my life for the past five years. It’s almost all I know about feeding a child. You see, both my children refused the bottle and I latched them on for 99.98% of their milk feeds (0.2% being the bottle feeds which failed spectacularly). I had felt trapped at first. I couldn’t go anywhere without them. I barely slept because no one else could bottle-feed them. If I went anywhere without them, it was for my annual haircut, and even then, I was anxious the whole time and sped home just to be back in time for the next feed. Both F and E had painful reflux too, E being the one who suffered from a more severe form than F did. E, especially, screamed hysterically and arched whenever I tried to feed him; for two months, I thought he hated me. Every feed had me wrestling him (not kidding) until I perspired and both of us ended in tears. He was underweight (completely off the chart, not even on the lowest percentile) and yet, was pained by nursing. I was devastated and exhausted and at my wit’s end as to how I should help him put on weight without causing him pain. It was cruel and punishing to go through this, even as I fended off naysayers who had much to say about my breastfeeding. Our paediatrician then put him on MUPS and much too slowly, breastfeeding grew to be a mildly better experience. But it was too late, breastfeeding had scarred me physically and emotionally. I was bone-tired, resentful, and I felt unattractive, having to bear witness to what pregnancy and motherhood had done to my body over the past five years.

Yet, I didn’t want to stop nursing my children. As much as I felt tied down, it was the one way I knew how to mother. If I couldn’t meet their other needs, I could still nurse them. If nothing else went right in motherhood, there was nursing to count on. And there were plenty of occasions when they smiled and cooed and played peekaboo with me as they nursed. Breastfeeding, as gruelling as it was, forged unbreakable bonds between my children and me, and weaning felt like some sort of an un-welcomed rite of passage.

They are growing up much too quickly for me to play catch-up. I am losing them.

For both F and E, I checked on my supply each time I was in the shower after they weaned. It took more than a month before my supply dried up for F. It took two weeks in E’s case. I cried in the shower that evening. We were holidaying in Bali, and there I was, standing in the shower,  relieved (and feeling guilty at the relief) that I need not sacrifice my body that way again just to keep my children alive, mourning every single night when I had the opportunity to hold them close to me and comfort them, wincing as I tried to forget the hurtful remarks that people had hurled at me for breastfeeding my children, trying desperately to recall that twinkle in my baby’s eye as he or she nursed, stroking my fingers absent-mindedly as I struggled to remember how they clung onto my index finger with their tiny, tiny hands. Five years went much too quickly, but the days were so very long and at times, painful indeed.

A month has since passed and E has cheekily asked for Mama’s milk on a few occasions. Sometimes, I catch myself lifting up my top when I hold E in my arms as I put him to bed, only to stop halfway and realise that I have nothing left to give. But I guess we still have cuddles. I will always have cuddles, so long as they let me.

And when that is no longer, the memories are forever mine to keep.

 Photography: Grow Old With Me

The Things Faith Says #8: What’s Tickle in Chinese? 

We have been making a conscious effort to practise speaking Mandarin with Faith. She understands much better than she speaks and we thought to help her along by speaking the language more frequently to her. M is more fluent in Mandarin than I am, so I tend to only remember to practise with F when he’s back home from work.

I was cuddled up in bed with F yesterday night, watching SING on the iPad when M came home from work. F loves to get us to tickle her and she asked her daddy if he could do that.

M (in Mandarin): Try speaking in Mandarin, Faith.

F: Mama, what’s tickle in Chinese?

I turned to M, who turned to look at me as well, and I grew tomato-red before bursting into laughter.

Me: Errrrr…..(laughs hysterically) GOO JI?!!!!

(For those of you who aren’t familiar with dialects/slangs, ‘Goo Ji’ means to tickle but it’s definitely not Mandarin!)

M glared at me and then started laughing as well.

M: It’s 搔痒 lah!!!

I mean, seriously, did you guys not think of ‘Goo Ji’ too?!

I think 冯老师 (my Higher Chinese Language teacher in secondary school) is going to throw my desk out of the classroom (she used to do that with students who weren’t okay in her books). I came from a reputable Chinese school and I think it’s safe to say that I am now a disgrace to my alma mater.

(Well, I know this should belong to the category ‘Things Mama Says’ but I hope I don’t make that many bloopers to fill up a new category, so I am just going to archive this conversation here.)

The Girl On The Airplane

Credit. Something that I generously give everyone but myself.

Each time someone pays me a compliment, I’d immediately blurt out, in a manner akin to a knee-jerk reflex, that the stars, moon and sun aligned at the exact time I reached up to scratch an itch on my right cheek to cause things to turn out so marvellously. You get the picture…I’d honestly believe in any cause other than my efforts or talent, and this is the way I have been since I was a little girl. I didn’t know how to say thank you to people who said nice things to me, until M told me that it was rude to  brush off people’s compliments; after all, they went the extra mile to voice their opinions when they didn’t have to. That’s when I started to practise saying thank you, but only because I want to be polite to others and not because I truly believe in what they say.

I know I don’t make sense. I think the world of people who have done something good out there. Mamas who go to work just because. Mamas who stay home just because. Mamas who know when to let their hair down because they deserve a breather. Mamas who refuse to take a break even if they are on the brink of a burnout. Mamas who hold it together in tough times. Mamas who sob into their knees in their bathrooms when the kids are asleep. I see so much good and strength and resilience in people, especially after becoming a mother, but I fail to give credit to yours truly where credit is due. Each time I may have done something worthwhile, I brush it off and believe that it is something that others could and would have done (and they would have excelled at it instead of scraping by just like I was) if they were in my position. No biggie, is what I’d say.

Now, I didn’t realise what a slippery road that mindset has led me to. Up until yesterday, I had discredited myself so many times that I have unknowingly reduced my self-worth to zilch over the years. And it took a heart-wrenching, tearful conversation with M after our weekly brisk walk  for me to realise that.

It all started when I told M I overheard someone telling a mother that she was incredibly brave to drive her two young children out on her own. I thought the mama deserved a pat on her back too, and I thought that friend was very sweet to have pointed it out to her. Two minutes later, it dawned on me that I have been doing that since E was born. Many mothers would be home with their newborns during confinement and even in the first few months while their partners or family members help take the older kid(s) to and from school, but after M’s week-long paternity leave was over, I was driving a screaming newborn and a petrified F (because she didn’t understand why her new brother was crying) for a total of two hours everyday, come rain or shine. I didn’t have help to ferry F around and I just had to step up to do it, even if I were exhausted, scared, confused and recovering from the physical trauma of childbirth. I remember the days when all three of us would arrive at F’s school soaking wet because I didn’t know how to balance an umbrella whilst fishing E out of the car seat to pop him into the sling and getting F out of the car with her bags in tow. I remember the days when I would cry as I drove a screaming E home after dropping F at school. I remember the days when I just wanted to curl up in bed and not confront the fear of having to anticipate E’s crying (in crescendo, no less) that comes on cue whenever I loosen the sling to pop him into that damned car seat. It is easier these days, having had almost two years of practice in juggling two on school, errand, clinic and fun-time runs. But when I was in the midst of all that and taking deep breaths to dive headfirst into my fears and worries that accompany what others might think is a ‘damn simple school run, liddat also cannot handle ah’, all I could think of was how I failed whenever I broke down or leapt into wishful thinking that help would come in some form. Or when I got the kids all drenched because I couldn’t work out whether it was best to get kid number 1 out of the car first or kid number 2 into the sling before anything else. Many times, I felt defeated by what I thought must be the easiest thing to do (heck, I don’t even have to do that on public transport, I have a car, for crying out loud), and I didn’t dare tell anyone I was feeling that way about a simple school run for fear of wagging tongues and pointy fingers. And shame.

This applies to everything else. I just don’t give myself credit where it is due. I don’t pat myself on the back when an awfully long day is over even though I managed to feed the kids and keep them alive. When people tell me I made a great meal or baked some lovely cookies, I’d say thank you out of courtesy and silently wonder, “Really? I think they are just being polite and they didn’t want to hurt my feelings.” When others marvel at how I manage to take care of the kids and cook and bake, I’d be thick with guilt and shame and say, “I don’t need to go to work and I have help with cleaning and chores, so that leaves me time and energy to do the rest…” Because, somewhere in my pea-sized brain, I have come to think that all I do is the bare minimum that is required of human civilisation, that even if I succeed, it’s luck, that everyone can do what I do and they are stronger, better and just so damn awesome while I have been reduced to some kind of a weak sauce because I can’t drive my screaming newborn around without feeling anxious, for instance.

Then, M said, “You are not weak. Not at all. You are one of the strongest people that I know, and I am not saying this because you are my wife. Remember the day when we were at the Uncle Ringo fair, and Faith suddenly walked straight up to the airplane ride and said that she wanted to go on it, much to our surprise? Remember how she sat there so stiffly and quietly, with her lips steeled in absolute determination and her eyes brimming with fear? We all know that she has always been terrified of rides like this, and yet, when you asked her why she went on the ride without any of us prompting her to go on it, she said, “I was trying not to be scared, Mama. I really try.” She fought a battle that would seem insignificant to others, but she is far from weak. So what if you have help with chores and cleaning? You don’t have to put meals on the table but you do it regardless. You are talented and you bake the most beautiful things, and that has nothing to do with whether you have help or not. You can leave the children and go out and have fun but you refuse to because you want to be the one taking care of them even if it overwhelms you. You could have forced me to squeeze in school runs or made our parents do it and caused them much inconvenience but you stepped up and now you drive yourself and the kids around just so you become independent. No one is stronger than another, dear. The strongest person is one who fights a battle he or she fears most, however trivial it may seem to others, and that is what truly matters. That is why you are one of the strongest people I know. Believe me.”

I was in tears by the time he finished. I knew he was right. Any protests that I had worked out in my mind  before he started talking fell silent and I was completely thoughtful after that. In the evening breeze, I sat by the pool and recalled countless things that I admired other people for, and realised that I too have overcome similar challenges. For the first time in many, many years, I see myself in new light. I have been giving myself so much pressure, and thinking that everything I am doing is a norm that I have taught myself, unknowingly, to forget that I have actually done some pretty wonderful deeds in my life, that I am more than decent. That I am more than what I think I am, that I am not that weak a person or that lousy a mother. Perhaps, this seems pretty obvious to most people, the fact that one is still getting up to do something that trips her in the smallest or biggest of ways is an effort that is worth applauding. It is such an astounding revelation to me and today, I woke up feeling better and calmer than I have in a painfully long time. And all I had to do was to remember the look on my four-year-old’s face and her white knuckles as she held on tightly to that ride at Uncle Ringo’s. She tried…I try.

That courage, and this lesson…I will never forget.

A Super Fun Play Book That My Kids Love + Promo Code! 

I love toys and books that give us good mileage because (a) I don’t want my home to be cluttered with things as seasons change, (b) we save money in the long run, and most importantly (c) the kids learn not to hanker after the next flashy toy they see and learn to explore the same object in different and creative ways.

I am in disbelief at how well the third point has worked out for us but I am beyond glad that it has. The kids, especially F who is 4 years old, have no problem leaving a toy store without throwing a tantrum. Yes, they would be fascinated by all the knick-knacks calling out to them from the shelves, but they are perfectly happy to leave the store with minimal persuasion as they have learnt (with our guidance and then on their own) that they have sufficient open-ended toys at home that are always fun-enough for them.

One thing that I really like is a good quiet book that grows with the child. I have been looking for one since E was born as I had hoped for the book to keep F busy whilst I nurse E to sleep in the evenings. One can get really useful ones online, some of which you can personalise with pages that you like, but holy moly, those can cost USD10 per page and I just can’t bring myself to spend more than $100 for a busy book with sufficient content, no matter how well-made or interesting they are. I managed to work out a way to keep F quietly busy eventually when my secondborn winds down for bedtime, but when the very active E was due to go on his second flight, I searched for one that cost about $60, bought it on impulse, and regretted the purchase because it was completely uninteresting and none of my kids liked it.

When Sapna from Smarter Concepts approached me to give My Super Fun Play Book a try, I was skeptical at first but having taken a look at the book and the company’s vision in detail on the site, I was sold.

The company is committed to sourcing materials ethically and works closely with seamstresses and handicraft producers to ensure good workmanship. Smarter Concepts cultivates homegrown talents, develops skills of underprivileged women in the Philippines, and promotes their welfare by maintaining fair labour practices, and purchasing the play book is an amazing way to support this vision. The book has also undergone stringent tests and conforms to the European standards of EN 71 and ISO 8124, and it is good to know that the book is safe for my kids to play with.

 
I am glad to report that the play book is highly sought after in our home. F and E love to take it from room to room (it’s super portable as it’s made of fabric and not the least bit heavy) and they sit down quietly to go through the activities on each page. The only time when they make a peep is when they fight over it…which is pretty often because the book is fun for kids of various age groups! E is about 22 months old and he loves sorting colours, playing with the finger puppets, brushing the dog’s teeth, or simply taking the accessories off and sticking them back on the pages. F particularly enjoys a game of Tic-Tac-Toe, loves making pizza (and Mama gets a go at teaching her what a balanced diet is using the different ingredients available) and she is very keen on learning how to tell the time, braid hair, tie shoelaces, etc. Have a look at the time-lapse video I have taken of F playing with the book and you will see that it really is a book that grows with the child.

The workmanship of the play book is excellent too. E can be pretty rough with things in our house but the play book is so impeccably sewn that it has survived his vicious tugging on some of the accessories on the pages! The stitching and attention to detail is evident on every accessory on every page and this has me wondering how this book of 12 pages can go for less than USD4.80 per page (even cheaper if you use my discount code)!

The book is really affordable for its quality and mileage, and gives even the best quiet book I have seen out there a run for its money. I am planning to bring this book with us for when we travel in a few months’ time; this way, the kids get something (they love) to do other than vegging out in front of the telly onboard!

You may purchase this book over here. Don’t forget to use my discount code thepleasuremonger to get USD10 off the book (that works out to only USD48!) when you check out (valid until 31 January 2017, so HURRY).

*I was given the play book for the review. No additional monetary compensation has been received. All opinions expressed are entirely my own and written according to my experience in using the products/services. Sponsors have been notified that I am not obliged to write a review upon receipt of sponsored service/items, should I find the products/services unsuitable.